The dreaded in-between

This is something I wrote I would say smack in the middle of my in-between. It's from on my IG page go follow and read other stuff on there. You might find things that relate to you.

So I graduated from pharmacy school last year and I don't have a job yet so to stay busy, on mondays I volunteer at a pharmacy which coincidentally is the same place alot of students from my Alma matter volunteer as well. I like seeing them and I won't say I'm not a little embarrassed that I couldn't get a job yet but it doesn't hurt my ego cause life happens right?

Then going back to Sunday in church, this woman brings up her son who's still in pharmacy school and he tells me "Oh I know some P4s (fourth year students) who have jobs already. It's really who you know." Here am I a graduate who left school in May and got licensed in October and couldn't even get an interview without a license. Was I completely defective? She was very well intentioned but her actions struck about a thousand nerves. (Post for another day! Trust me it shall be lengthy lol.)

Seeing all these students come and go for the last few months with very little change in my situation made me feel stuck and frustrated. Plus the cheerful encounter I had the day before really kickstarted the pity party. This even resulted in a moment of anxiety in my car and I really just had to pause and breathe through it. I had to remind myself that everyone's life moves at a different pace and sometimes we just can't dechiper what's coming next or see beyond the smoke screen of life.

I know for a fact that there are a lot of people stuck in the dreaded in-between, and there is little we can do except trust God and keep breathing, keep hoping. It can be embarrassing and make you want to become a hermit till it's all over. Trust me right now all I want is to travel and escape reality until my in-between comes to an end. But it's not really an in-between if you're not present and patient in every moment of pain and frustration to come out on the other side stronger and more life-resistant.

What I like to do to pause in moments of frustration is look at the sky. If you ever really look at it you'll realize that it's magnificent. Sometimes we forget that we exist in something so magnificent and walk under something so beautiful. In those moments of really looking, I remember that I'm blessed by just being able to move my neck and stand and open my eyes and see. I've come to accept that there is a whole world of beauty outside me and my problems; I should learn to live in it and not in my problems.

Have a good one!

P.S. leave a comment! I'd love to hear from you!